As she graduates this week, international student Koke reflects on the friendships, challenges and unforgettable moments that shaped her three years at the University of Portsmouth.
As an English and Creative Writing student (now graduate, I suppose), I rarely struggle to articulate myself. And yet, tasked with the challenge of describing my experience in the University of Portsmouth, I find myself at a loss for words. And so, I will give each year its own word; that special thing that sets it apart.
First Year was for ‘Friends’
Coming about 5,601 miles from my home country of Botswana meant that, for the first time in my life, I found myself closer to the North Pole than everyone I loved. Luckily, this was the case for a lot of international students I came across, most of whom I met during International Orientation Week.
I will never forget the nerves I felt during the first few minutes of the quiz night. And I will never forget the pure joy I felt when my team won the event less than an hour later. We went from sitting awkwardly in our own corners to huddled up together on the couch, bumping heads to come up with answers. And that win gave me the confidence to not only stay in touch with that group of people, but to pursue friendships with others.
As anxious as I was, I realised that almost everyone around me was bonded by that same feeling. The fear of isolation and worries about not fitting in were more common than I expected. But all it took was a simple ‘hello’ and asking how a person’s day was before polite conversation turned into friendship. Before I knew it, I was calling my friends back home to tell them about the new friends I’d met in class, through living in halls (shout out to my flatmate Sunday), or simply by chance. And the abundance of Student Union-led events meant that I rarely had to struggle when coming up with hangout ideas.
Second Year was for ‘Balance’
Having met most of my friends in first-year, and having become more familiar with my course, second year taught me how to balance everything. This is when I began my role as an International Student Ambassador. Getting the opportunity to work with the University and help fellow international students such as myself was immensely rewarding. This also meant that I officially had to navigate the big three: a job, coursework, and the relationship I had with my friends and family.
Keeping in contact with family especially was something I struggled with.
Being in university felt like being two different people; the Koke I was in Botswana and the Koke I was in the UK. However, I found it was important to acknowledge and accept both sides of myself.
I was growing and changing, as everyone does. And I just needed to make sure that I didn’t lose sight of who I was at my core, and that I didn’t forget that my main motivation for being here was my education. This meant that I became more intentional about prioritising my studies and organising my time, while picking up work shifts that fit around my academic commitments. Meanwhile, weekends were reserved for calls with family and hanging out with friends. (Boom. Balance. It took a while, but I hacked it.)
Third Year was for ‘Dissertation’ (Yes. The dreaded word)
Now, forget everything I mentioned above because this is where the word ‘balance’ completely disappeared. Having spoken to many third-year students while I was working on my dissertation, most of us agreed that it was somehow better and worse than we thought it would be. Not saying this to frighten anyone, but to encourage you to put in the extra work when you need to. Dissertation or project aside, the final year of university is academically the most crucial.
My dissertation consumed most of my life in third year, but I took comfort in knowing that I wasn’t alone. The library was always packed with fellow students revising for exams or working on projects and dissertations of their own. I shall be eternally grateful for the library cafe. The coffee wrote most of my work.
And while the all-nighters felt endless at that point, they finally came to an end. I passed. I’m being told that I’m graduating? (I still can’t believe it.) But the time has come to say goodbye, and somewhere along the way, I started calling Portsmouth ‘home’. And now I’ll probably head back to Botswana and be 5,601 miles away from this lovely city. Unless the alumni discount brings me back, of course.